Nick Nak Paddy Wack Give The Zell A Bone
by Skull.02
Summary: Zell takes a trip to The island Closest to Heaven! Squeal to Sup Zell and ADITLOZ


Nic Nak Paddy Wack, Give the Zell a bone.  
  
Part 3 of Sup Zell and A Day in the Life of Zell  
  
It was a normal day in Balamb. Zell is now twenty-six years old and still living with his mother. And yes, people have talked. He is a professional fighter for the Garden and regularly goes on SeeD missions, all around the world, for good to prevail over evil. Tsk, like that's ever gunna happen!  
  
Zell has just been informed that he is to go on a mission to 'The Island Closest to Heaven'. Zell - Mummy, I'm going on a trip to 'The Island closest to Heaven! Ma - Ohhhhh, what a lovely name for a probably lovely place. Zell - Yeah, sure. Anyway, have you packed my Lunch-box? Ma - Yes I have, you should enjoy it. PS, bring me back a souvenir. I just woke from my coma you know! Be nice. Zell - Gravel?  
  
Zell leaves the house and walks down to Garden. He meets up with Squall.  
  
Zell - Sup Squall? Squall - Whatever. Zell - Ready for this mission? Squall - Whatever. Zell - Bring your lunch? Squall - Whatever. Zell - Hmmmmmm...Squall, are you gay? Squall - Whatever.  
  
An alarm sounds signalling that all fighters must report to the docks to board ships for their destination. Zell does a merry jig onto the ship.  
  
Boy 1 - Say Zell? Why are you soooo happy? Zell - Simple, Seifers not here. Boy 2 - He isn't? Ship has left the dock and sailing out. Boy 1 - Hey, isn't that him? Boy 1 points to a figure rapidly running towards the dock Seifer - HEY!!!!!! WAIT FOR ME!!!!! Zell - No way! You're late! Boy 2 - You have to miss this mission out! Seifer - NNOOOOOOOOO!!!!.. Ohh.a twenty! Seifer picks up the twenty from the floor and begins to walk off. Boy 1 - F**K you! That's my F***in' twenty! Boy 1 jumps into the water and swims for shore, to fight Seifer. He fails miserably. And is punched into the water. Seifer walks into the candy store and comes out with his hands full of sweets.  
  
The ships arrive at 'The Island Closest to Heaven'. Everyone on the ship gets onto the shore where they begin to have their lunch. Boy 1 - Yum! Beef! Boy 3 - Yum! Jelly! Boy 4 - Yum! Kak! Zell - Yum...EEEEEKKKKKKKK!!!!!! Lying in Zell's Lunchbox is none other then a 50-year-old bowl of Porrage. Boy 3 - You gunna eat that?  
  
Later on in the day, Squall and Zell are pared together to destroy as many monsters as possible. They manage to kill around sixteen and they confront a huge beast. Zell - OMG, we gunna take this guy? Squall - Whatever.  
  
They battle the beast but Squall dies and has his head ripped off by the monster. Zell scares off the huge monster. Zell - Nooooooooo!! Squallll!!!!!!!! ..Ohh.a twenty. Head inside Beast - Whatever.  
  
Zell picks up the money and walks off doing a jig, not before picking up a bit of gravel for his mother. Zell - Ohh, this one has a bug in it!  
  
Zell returns to camp where Boys 1,2,3 and 4 are. They meet up with a young buck named Andy Antelope. Hehe, get it, buck, antelope? Urrrrrrrrr...lets move on. Andy - How many buggers did you guys kill then? Boy 2 - four Boy 1 - Three Boy 4 - Six Zell - Sixteen with one mentally damaged for life. Andy - Good lip-smacking job Zell. Zell - thankyou.  
  
Just then something caught Zell's eye. It was Irvine chasing his ponytail. Irvine - Come back!! I just want my ponytail back! I drank tons of milk just to get you that shiny. Waaaaaa! Come Back!!!! Ohh...A twenty!  
  
Irvine picks up the money and walks off forgetting about his ponytail. The ponytail, which shall now be refereed to as 'Fred', floated in the wind and landed gently on a rock where a Jacuzzi turned on and a maid handed him a tall glass of iced tea. Boy 2 - Spoilt Brat!  
  
Back on the ship, traveling back to Balamb, Zell looks very depressed. He walks to the side of the ship and stares out into the horizon. Suddenly, a cloud catches his eye. It has Selphie riding it with Sacred and Minator. All - Rock, Paper, Scissors. Selphie - WaHoo! I win again! Sacred - *Whispers* How does she do that? Minator - *Whispers* That's 100 in a row! Scared - *Whispers* Wanna mug Her? Minator - Sure! The Mugging begins. Selphie - Hey get off me! Stop that! Ouch, that hurts! Give it back! That's not supposed to bend that way, ouch! AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!  
  
Zell sighs and walks off back to his cabin. On the way he bumps into Volt Kruger from 'The Bouncer'. The first words to come out of Zell's mouth.. Zell - So what's it like being the older version of me. When do I get piercing? Nice jacket, where did I get it? Do you like my, I mean our, Booya technique? When do I meet up with this Sion jerk? Is he a jerk like Squall? Do I ever get to kill a guy? Volt - What? +turns around+ Zell is disappeared; it's just me and the TumbleWeed.  
  
Zell is in his cabin and hears a loud noise, he goes out to see that Andy is angry and going crazy. Andy - AAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!! Boy 1 - Calm down! Boy 3 - Yeah, come on. Sing with me..It's a small world after-all! It's a small world after-all! Andy - *choking Boy 3* SHUT UP! Zell walks over to Boy 3 lying on the floor. Zell - It's a small world! Dude, what have you been smoking?  
  
The next morning, the ship arrives at Balamb and Zell gets off. Only an hour later we find him drunk in a Lesbian Bar. Zell - Wait a minute. There's something wrong with this bar! Zell looks around Zell - I know what it is! This gay bar has no Fire Exit. Enjoy your death trap ladies! Girl - What's her problem?  
  
Zell begins to walk home as bored as ever. He gets home and jumps into his bed and begins to sleep. Zell's eyes bulge as he gets up. Zell - AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!! Teddy! I left him on the ship!  
  
Skull - Yey! Number 3 is complete. I hope you enjoyed it and laughed out loud. E-mail for a request of a forth! Zell forever! Skull.03 


End file.
